Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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