Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
