Did you just see the Batmobile???
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
