i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
