dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Randomize
