My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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