He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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