all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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