About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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