nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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