The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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