god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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