just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
