i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i've created a new STD.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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