is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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