Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
