If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Houston, we have a blender
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
