im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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