The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
