honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
be right there i have to get my cape
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
