So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
