you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
