real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
