At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
