Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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