If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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