Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
