just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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