I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
