fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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