Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
