How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
