chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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