My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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