hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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