I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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