Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
