Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
