Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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