i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
