I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
