You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
