I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
