scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
