if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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