I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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