Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
