he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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