hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
