My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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